People who know me, know that Fall is my favorite time of year. Today, I spent time doing several of my favorite things, in fact. I walked with my best friend and my daughter, enjoying the outside fresh air, sunshine, nature, God's creation. These are some of the little things I enjoyed:
The way the light shines on the colorful leaves in the trees, casting shadows and variations of colors in the reds, yellows, and oranges of the leaves.
The way the wind blows the leaves down the street, making them look like they are involved in an intricate dance on the black pavement.
The way the blue herons glide in over the water to land on a nearby dock at the local reservoir.
The way the ripples of the water and the sunlight's reflection on the water make it look like the ducks are appearing and disappearing right in front of your eyes.
On top of enjoying the Fall weather, we walked to my favorite coffee shop, the Geist Coffee Shop. This is not my favorite because the coffee is the best in the city. Don't get me wrong, the coffee is good. However, I actually prefer the coffee at Noble Coffee & Tea Company better. This coffee shop ranks top because of its location and ambiance. I can run there on my Saturday mornings. I can walk there with friends. I can sit outside with Beastie and people watch. Or, in the colder months, there is a nice little fireplace inside where I sit with my children or parents, and we share precious time together - time that is cherished beyond anything.
After my morning adventure, I came home to shower and started thinking about my favorites. My mind never stops, by the way. I am ALWAYS drawing conclusions or running scenarios and ideas through my brain. I realized that there are two kinds of thinking of favorites I do - 1) favorites that make me happy, and 2) favorites that turn me sentimental and sad. I quickly headed down that sentimental and sad trail today.
How did I end up on this path? A jigsaw puzzle. Yes folks - welcome to the female mind where a jigsaw puzzle leads you down a pathway of sentimental and sad thoughts.
See - I have a box with a jigsaw puzzle in my closet sitting to give as a gift. Memories flooded in about the holidays spent doing jigsaw puzzles while Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner would be cooking in the kitchen. My mom and nana would typically be the ones working it - and I LOVED to work it with them. I remember one night sitting with my mom and my nana around a round oak table in our basement. We were working a jigsaw puzzle, and it was late. It was so late, that we started laughing about something stupid - and when girls get tired and giggly.... well, its all downhill from there. I remember laughing so hard that my dad came down to quiet us down - YIKES! But it was that kind of laughter that the harder you tried to quiet it, the more it bubbled out from deep down inside of you. The more my father looked sternly and tried to quiet us, the more it made me laugh. It was just today that I realized the thing I liked about doing jigsaw puzzles was doing them with my mom and nana. I still like to work a jigsaw puzzle, but its just not the same now. - I miss those moments.
This started me down memory lane:
I remember my sisters and I gathered in the kitchen doing dishes with my mom and singing silly songs together about sharks eating people's heads, or worms crawling in and out of dead bodies. Yes - I know - disturbing, right? - I miss that.
I remember my son Drew when he was still VERY young singing "You Are My Sunshine" with me. Only, Drew could not quite pronounce all of the words, so it ended up sounding more like "....sunshine.....sunshine......happy.....skies gray" - I miss that. In fact, I miss him - but that is a story for a different day.
I remember my daughter Bekah in her striped pajamas with cute striped pajama shorts, her red hair in pigtails, sitting in front of me for her La Creme yogurt that she ate every night before bed....me spoon feeding her one bite at a time - I miss that.
I remember sitting on my mom's green couch every weekend in high school doing crazy hard logic puzzles that took hours or sometimes days for the bonus points they earned in math class. "Party A had a green car, but was not first or last in line. Party B was third in line." - I miss that.
I remember many nights of Jack, my blonde headed baby boy, crawling into my arms and me rocking and singing him to sleep. This is something I could not recreate now that he is 6'5" at least. - I miss that.
I remember how - no matter how much trouble he was in, no matter how upset I was with Drew, he could look at me a certain way, and I could not help but laugh....discipline thrown out the window.....only love for that boy filled my heart. We were SO close - he understood me and I understood him. - I miss him.
I remember my older sister coming to visit from California for the holidays and bringing her two little girls to visit. My family loved her and those girls SO much. Every holiday they visited brought late night dancing parties and so much joy - and sometimes lice or vomit (long stories). This is also another story for another day - but I have not seen or heard from her in years. These are moments that we will never get back. I miss her, those girls, and the memories we made.
I remember countless nights, even now, that Elanor climbs in bed next to me to sleep. She has a perfectly good bed - mind you. But somehow that space next to mom in her big bed tops all other spaces in the world. - One day, I am going to miss this.
And so I end my evening in tears - tears of joy over the memories, and tears of sadness over the times gone by and going by. And, I end my evening crying out to God - thanking Him for these memories, thanking Him for these little moments, thanking Him for these people in my life, asking Him to help me appreciate the little things - good or bad. Because without Him, a girl could not do this....
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